A Father's Mantra

You are Loved

You are Kind

You are Courageous

You are Talented

You are You

This is a short blessing I have whispered to you as a mantra since before you were born. It is a series of affirmations for your soul and a collection my dearest hopes as you grow.

I'm not sure where it came from, but in reading or hearing it, know I think these are powerful benedictions through which to live.

I've provide a brief interpretation for each so you may know my meaning, but they may speak to you differently. Perhaps an explanation is superfluous, perhaps the intent behind the words is enough.

You are Loved

• The first and most important affirmation in the mantra - never doubt you are loved beyond words

• Love is at the heart of our family, and the surest foundation we can provide through which to launch your own life

• In all things, good or bad, know that you are Loved.

You are Kind

• Kindness must be more than a moment of courtesy, it should be a mindset you foster even at your lowest and meanest ebb

• It is a behaviour informed by empathy, compassion, thoughtfulness and pragmatism

• It is not being manically 'nice' or putting yourself last - of course you must be kind to yourself

• Kindness is dealing with the world, and those in it, with a steady heart which looks to contribute to the good where possible

• It is care without expectation of reward

• It is quiet empathy in the face of hurt, rejection or indifference

• It is a worthy virtue to cultivate.

You are Courageous

• Courage is often misunderstood.

• It's most prominent face is that of confronting great danger or challenge - the essential ingredient for any hero. And if faced with those circumstances, we all hope to have the courage to overcome

• But mainly, we must gather our courage to face the ordinary things; the day ahead, a difficult personal situation, unpaid care of another, not enough money to pay all the bills

• These may seem small acts of courage, but they are as worthy as any single big moment if they form a life well lived

• I wish you courage whenever needed, big or small.

You are Talented

• Talent is making the best of our gifts from God

• Everyone is talented; the trick is to try new things to uncover where your talents lie

• You never know when, or at what age, a new talent will emerge - so every moment is an opportunity

• And once you find a talent, build on it - talent can always be improved

• Your talents are your unique ticket to an interesting and meaningful life.

You are You

• As you traverse this life, you will be inundated with messages telling you who or what you should be

• This is disorienting unless you form a strong and coherent sense of self

• Our sense of self is a combination of our personality, our values and the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves

• Initially parents and loved ones should help by teaching us how to constructively interact with others, sharing tribal values and encouraging positive personal narratives

• As we grow, we test our identity against the realities, ideas and experiences we encounter

• This is transformative, and while parents and loved ones can guide, it is up to us do to the work

• Even people from the most supportive environments need to radically test their identity as they grow

• At its best, in our teen and early adult years, we form a coherent but nascent sense of self - this is the beginning of character

• It then remains the work of a lifetime to build and refine our character, both to usefully contribute to society, but to also nurture ourselves and our families.
  

• But the process by which each person does this is unique, based on their own specific circumstances

• Inevitably, many people do not come from environments which nurture a strong and coherent sense of self

• Likewise, some people suffer hardship and trauma which damages them and requires huge effort to heal

• Sadly, some succumb to these adverse circumstances, often through no fault of their own - another opportunity to exercise kindness

• However, there are also those who overcome these challenges and prove it is more than possible to transcend adversity

• The human spirit is limitless and our ability to prevail should never be underestimated

• Throughout your life, hold fast to that which is good within your sense of self, refine your character - come what may, and know that no-one can then diminish you.